Long distance relationships can often be a controversial subject for people to bring up to people they know in real life. The judgement mainly comes with the older generations, not really know how or what it is. I can understand that judgement, of course I can. The online world can be scary if you don’t know what you’re doing.
How It Started.
I used to play an online game when I was younger called ROBLOX. It’s basically an online virtual game where you create a character and then play whatever user-based games are on there. You can also join different communities such as fashion, war based groups, countries, schooling, that kind of thing. I used to play it all the time to get my mind off of everything else going on in my world, and it worked quite effectively.
I actually met most of my friends to this day on ROBLOX. I’ve been very aware of internet safety for a long time, so I knew that I had to make sure I saw these people on webcam, etc. When I first met my boyfriend through mutual friends we actually hated each other. There had been major ROBLOX drama within our friendship groups, meaning that before we met we automatically disliked each other.
It wasn’t until we started actually talking to each other that we became friends, and we actually had a bit of a romantic thing going on, on the game. It was obviously not real at that point since ROBLOX is just a game, but it set the foundations up.
We eventually stopped playing ROBLOX as much as moved onto talking on Kik, a chatting app. We spoke on there for a couple of months before we decided to Skype call. I knew that if I immediately noticed something was up, I would just block him and delete him. Like I said, I was aware of the dangers before I went there. When we called I was too shy to speak, so he just spoke to me for nearly 2 hours straight. I built up the courage to talk, and when I did, we spoke for the entire night.
It was so nice to be able to find someone who related to me and who made me laugh. I had no friends at this point in my life so it was almost a blessing. This person who I got along with, had lots in common with, and who was actually who they said they were had come into my life. It was great. We spoke every night for that entire week, and then further on afterwards as well. We never ran out of anything to say, and I was so excited about it.
We quickly decided to start dating, and dated for nearly 5 months. It was a rough relationship, I’m not going to lie. I was going through a lot in my personal life and so was he. At age 16 I don’t think you’re fully equipped to deal with depression, having no friends, and college life all at the same time. So eventually we broke up, and it was devastating. I don’t want to focus too much on the negative sides of things though. Even though that part of our journey has been large, I think that focusing on it when storytelling only makes it larger.
We stopped talking after that, but thankfully I had made friends with a few other people online and I had a relatively good support network. I can’t actually remember how long we didn’t talk to each other for. I do remember there was a lot of arguments, and lots of periods of time where we would speak for 2 weeks then not at all for 3 months. After that, we dated again in 2016.
He helped me through quite a bad breakup with another person, and then helped me to recover from it afterwards. He was actually being a good friend to me. I think he did have feelings for me at that point, but I’m not sure. After a few months of getting over the other person, we started dating again. This time we only lasted 4 months (I know what you’re thinking).
I think the second breakup was tougher than the first, and I vowed that I would never go there again. However, when you have a gut feeling, it’s hard to ignore it. I had that feeling that things weren’t over, sort of as if you closed a book before you finished the last few pages. I don’t know why I got that feeling, but I couldn’t ignore it. Every time we spoke after we broke up the second time, I quickly felt myself liking him again.
It was difficult for me to battle between being that independent woman that everyone wants to be, and… doing the opposite. Everyone makes mistakes, and people always say to not give people third chances. You can tell by the fact that we’re dating right now, I gave him a third chance. Of course, a lot of stuff happened between now and back then, but it’s mainly negative stuff that we overcame together.
We started dating for the third time in October 2017 and we’re still together now. This relationship has been more successful than the rest of our entire friendship put together. We’ve mainly put this down to us being older, more financially stable, etc. We were able to finally meet each other in person in January 2018 and it was the best week of my life. I think that we wouldn’t have lasted this long if we hadn’t have met. We needed to have some sort of proof that we had a human connection in real life.
Since we met it’s been absolutely amazing. We have our arguments like any couple, and LDR is definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. It’s usually a lot worse straight after a trip, when one of us leaves the other at the airport. After January it was 4 months of waiting, but then he visited in May. Now it’s only been 2 months, and on the day you’re reading this – I’m flying to America!
We’re going to spend 3 amazing weeks together this summer, and I can’t wait to see how many more memories we can create. LDR is hard, but it’s worth it if you know what your reasoning for it is. You will get judged, and people clearly like to share their opinions regardless of whether you asked for it or not. Remembering why you’re doing something keeps getting you through it.