Ah, that dreaded first date.
Spending hours getting ready in front of the mirror, practicing our best dance moves to our current playlist, and imagining the Prince Charming to come, we often get to our date only to find that he looks nothing like his Tinder profile, his personality is nothing like his pretty picture, and our raised hopes are nothing but crushed dreams in reality.
Well, that’s the worst-case scenario. First dates aren’t always that bad, but to avoid any mishaps and disappointments, it is worth remembering a few vital things before hitting the town with your would-be beau.
#1: It’s okay to swipe left
To avoid first date disappointment when you’re looking for somebody on Tinder, remember that it’s okay to swipe left, especially if he…
a) Has a faceless pic – yes, he might have perfect abs, but you do need to see his face. If it’s blurred out or cut out of the pic entirely, you should probably move on.
b) Only has group pics on his profiles – he could be that handsome guy in the middle, but then again, he might be that freaky looking guy who definitely doesn’t take your fancy. Don’t take any risks; either send a message to clarify or swipe onto the next guy.
c) Only has one pic on his profile – he might look cute, but he may well have nabbed the pic from Google Images. Beware of catfishers! You don’t want to meet somebody who is nothing like his photo, either because he has used a false ID, or because his pic is from 20 years earlier. Ask for more pics before you meet!
#2: Safety matters
In all senses of the word, you do need to stay safe. We have all heard those nightmare stories of dates who turn out to be arrogant brutes or who are only after one thing (yes, we are talking about sex), so care needs to be taken.
a) Always agree to meet in a safe place, preferably somewhere with plenty of other people around, such as a bar or a diner.
b) Let your loved ones know where you are and agree to call them (or let them call you) for an update on how well the date is going. You might also want to agree on a safe word, so your friends and family can come and bail you out if you need an exit plan.
c) Know that you don’t have to have sex on your first date unless you want to. While you might be on the pill or have gone through tubal ligation, there is still more than the risk of pregnancy to consider. What if he has an STD? What if he isn’t as nice as he first appears? Use your common sense, have sex on your terms, or wait until you have got to know him a little better.
#3: It’s not always an audition for marriage
Don’t pin all of your hopes on the first guy you date. While he might be ‘the one,’ he might also be one of many who could make your dreams come true.
a) Don’t get too serious in conversation. Interrogating him on his past love life is not going to go in your favor. Neither will sharing too many intimate secrets of your own. This is your opportunity to get to know each other, but the important thing is to have fun and relax. You might only scare him off otherwise!
b) Don’t worry if things go wrong on your date. If you say the wrong thing, spill wine down your dress, or accidentally forget his name, try and laugh it off and move on. If he likes you, he should be respectful. But if he does flee because of a first date mishap, or if you’re the one doing the running, don’t beat yourself up about it. As there are plenty more fish in the sea, there are plenty more guys on Tinder (other apps are available), so don’t assume you have suddenly ruled out your chances of love and happiness.
Got any first date advice of your own? Let us know, for the benefit of any us still playing the dating game!
Thanks for reading!