The end of my 4th month blogging – I can’t believe it’s been that short of a time to be honest. It seems like I’ve been suffering a lot longer. I joke, I joke.
My blog has done it’s best EVER this month! Although I didn’t ever feel like it was going that well, my stats show differently, so I suppose I’ll go by that. Since it got hot in England, my numbers dropped off, but that’s OK. I realise that these things fluctuate.
It’s ever so slightly above April. April was at 846 and June has been 860. So I guess some people would say that it isn’t a vast improvement, but I’m proud that it’s a milestone at least. This month has also been really good for comment engagement on my blog, as I got quite a lot of that as well. I’m slightly concerned about my blogging reputation in August as I’m going on holiday for 3 WEEKS. I think I need to start planning for that pretty soon.
My ‘Blogging Is Hard’ post at the beginning of the month went down really well, and I got a lot of feedback from it on my blog and also Twitter. I’m glad that people could relate to it, but also sad that the blogging community all feel the same way I do. People can preach about how much stats don’t matter and how you shouldn’t listen to them all they want – but it doesn’t change the fear underneath. You’re still going to be terrified that you’re irrelevant either way. That’s just how the world is.
I didn’t QUITE meet the 3,000 views mark in June. Besides constantly feeling like I should be doing better, I’m proud of that number for 4 months of blogging. I think that I’m getting more used to the idea that stats should be a guideline and not an ‘end-of-story’.
This has also been something that has fluctuated throughout June. My therapy is going well with my new therapist, we’re currently working on making our way through things that just ‘come up’ during the week. I only roughly have about 3-4 more sessions with her until I’ll have to stop seeing her. After my holiday in August, I might go and see her for a one off session before I head off to college in September.
The sunny weather has definitely helped me, but work is really stressing me out. I only have about 17 days left of actually going into work and sitting at a desk for 4 hours pointlessly. It’s just, that’s 17 days too long, you know?! It sucks even more to know that other people are outside enjoying it and I can’t go outside. My favourite thing is to go outside when it’s extreme weather, whether that’s really hot or really cold/snowing. I think it’s just a nice change from the usual dreary rain we get in England.
Besides from that my mental health has been up and down. I think I’m just angry all the time really. Just angry at everything, as always. I think I feel as though I’m constantly waiting for something bigger to happen, like waiting for my holiday, or waiting for an event, or waiting for my blog to get better, or waiting for my boyfriend to be home from work. Stuff like that really frustrates me because I can’t do anything about it, and that’s a major problem for me.
Myself and my boyfriend are still counting down the days until August when I go over there to see him. It’s been a month now since we saw each other, and we’re questioning how we ever survived 4 months of this torture. We will be together for a year in October, and I have a BIG present planned. I can’t tell you what it is because he reads my blog (Hi Jacob) but it’s amazing, I promise. I think I’m more excited to see my boyfriend’s dogs, than my boyfriend.
I’m seeing one of my school friends, Ciera, tomorrow for the first time in what feels like ages. Probably because it has been ages, I can’t even remember the last time I saw her. Which is bad. I’m also planning on (trying) to go and see my best friend Lottie before I head off to America. It’s difficult having my friends spread out all over the country, but I’m also hoping to meet my other best friend Ella. You can check out her blog here. We met through blogging and she’s been through a really tough time with anxiety. She’s been doing so well with going out the house more and making progress, I’m very proud of her. If she carries on doing so well, we might actually be able to meet in July!
Next weekend on the 7th I’m going to a place called Wiltshire with my mum for the weekend. We’re staying in the town near my new college to scope out the area before I start. It’s nice for me to be able to know what is in walking distance of my college and look for potential job opportunities too. The weekend after that I’ll be heading up to Milton Keynes to do my holiday shopping with my cousin Jaz, who I also hardly ever see! Maybe it’s just me being bad at meeting up with people.
That’s it really.
That’s my month of June! Not very eventful, but July is going to be SO busy for me. I understand my blog stats might drop off slightly this coming month. I’ll be planning posts and scheduling them for when I’m away in August, as well as preparing for college and my holiday. I’m excited to see what July brings for me mentally as well, as I’m hoping that being busier will break the frustration I’m feeling right now. Routine can be good, but it can also be an enemy. Everything in moderation!
I hope you all had a lovely June, and have an even lovelier July!