Anxiety and Depression

I’m Chronically Average

I’m average. Really average, if there was a scale of average-ness this is what it would look like:


It’s always been that way. No matter how many times my mum and my Nan have told me ‘You’re not average, you’re amazing in your own way!’.

The History of Average-ness.

At school I was pretty much always average with my grades, I wasn’t a popular kid but I wasn’t really hated either. I was never a teachers favourite or most hated student. At work I’ve never been employee of the year or even employee of the day. I’m never really a favourite friend of anyone’s, or a leader of a friendship group. I’ve never really achieved anything massive academically or workplace related.I would say I’m extremely average looking, I’m sure friends and family are going to yell at me for saying that, but it’s true. Sure, I’ve achieved things in my personal life which I never thought I would do. However they aren’t necessarily things that other people would look at and think, ‘Wow, what an amazing person’.

It’s tough to be average. People don’t always see it as a median, they see it is ‘not quite good enough’. It feels like you’re just floating through life, not really doing much with it but doing your best at the same time. Everyone always tells you that your best is enough, but what if it isn’t? What if your best only just scrapes you into the ‘average’ category? You’re just going to be average for the rest of your life?

Even this blog is average. Sure it has good days and bad days, but really when you look at the evidence, it’s just an average blog. It’s nothing special or anything. I know that some people reading this will be thinking I’m currently holding myself a pity party – but I’m not.

Average Sucks

The thing is that being average sucks. I know it sucks, and I try to get out of being average on a daily basis. The truth is that I know I won’t, and I’m OK with that. Being average means you have a lot more wiggle room. By that I mean, when you DO do something mildly better than usual, people think it’s the best thing in the universe. You get praised for taking the trash out, you’re THAT average. Sometimes I feel like Spongebob in that one episode he realises he’s ugly.

Awkward, ugly, average

That doesn’t mean you can cruise by or not try hard like everyone else does. It just means that when you do make an impact, it’s a big one. Going back to my blog example, I’ve had a few posts which have really blown up. They’ve blown up under my terms, meaning they got about 200 views. For someone nearer the Gandhi end of the spectrum, that would be nothing. You wouldn’t catch Gandhi being excited about 200 blog views, no sir.

That’s just me. That’s how it is. Things that are massive accomplishments for a chronically average person like me, won’t be to other people. The same way that people on the higher end of the awesome scale probably have achievements that I don’t even want to achieve. Being average is a life sentence but that doesn’t mean it’s that bad.

I think the most difficult part of being average for me, is feeling invisible. When you’re on either extreme end of the scale, you’re noticed by a lot of people, you get attention (good or bad). You have achieved something, whether it’s horrific or amazing. When you’re average, or you achieve menial and average things, you don’t get that. You get a quick ‘well done’ or a ‘you probably shouldn’t do that again’ and that’s it. People are never honest about the fact that everyone needs and wants attention, to a certain extent.

The Cure

I haven’t found a cure for Chronic Average-ness. I always think to myself ‘I wonder what my younger self would be thinking of me right now?’ whenever I achieve something. If it’s even slightly out of the ordinary, I decide that she would be proud. Sometimes even if it’s a bad thing that I’ve done, because at least it wasn’t average. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has good things happen to them, and everyone will feel average at some point in their lives.

Finding out you’re average can open up so many doors to realising what doesn’t make you average. You are capable of now recognising and appreciating every tiny thing in life. It’s enlightening to be able to see what you couldn’t see before, because you’re not constantly reaching for the stars. You are able to just accept that you’re on the ground, but that’s okay, because grass is super pretty in the sunlight and there are lots of nice hot dog stands around you.

I’m not saying you can’t go and work to become not-average. By all means, go and push your life to the limit to see how far along the scale you can get, you go, random person! For me though, I think I’m just coming to the conclusion that I’m okay being in the middle, with purple skittles.

 

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